So, today is Mother’s Day. I have had a great day so far. The only thing I asked John for was that yesterday he take all of us to get pedicures (even him;) and that’s exactly what we did. My new chemo drug is harsh on my nails. They are very thin, and you can see the blood through them. I will most likely keep getting pedicures for awhile because of this. The doc isn’t sure if they will all fall off or not, but let’s hope for the best. I have to also keep my fingernails painted at all times to keep them strong and prevent them from falling off too. Anyhow, crappy about the side effects…but my nails will look cute:)
We went to church today and service was great. I hadn’t been back since Easter, but felt well enough to go, so we went. I love the people at our church and know so many of them pray for me on a daily basis. I wanted to look nice, so I got the ol’ wig out and rocked it:) At first it looked terrible, but I pulled it back some and think it looked more realistic. When I put my make up on I noticed my eyelashes and eyebrows were pretty thin. I tried with make up to make the best of it. As the day wore on and the make-up wore off… I could definetly tell. I need to stop and get some make up to fill in my brows this week. I can’t wait for the day when my hair grows back and these are not things I have to worry about. But, when I was all dolled up and ready to go, I just sat and cried for a bit.
I spent most of the morning trying to cover my bald head. Fill in missing eyebrows. Cover missing eyelashes. Paint over bloody fingernails….and last but not least disguise my missing breasts. It’s just a lot to do. It’s a lot to maintain and worry about. All this, just to get out the door and look “normal.”
Enough sad stuff, it’s Mother’s Day My kids and my husband and family are the reason I am even fighting this fight. The reason I get up every morning, put on a brave face, and go forward. I am nothing without them.
I was a mere 21 when I was pregnant with Kaylee. Just a child myself. I had no idea what being a mother was even about. The one thing I had going for me… I had the best role model on how to be a great mom. My mom is the best, and now more than ever she is showing it. She has stood by my side almost everyday and told me it would all be okay. That I would get through this, and she would do whatever she could to help me. And she has. She has practically had to move in with me during certain parts of chemo to help
the girls and I. We just needed an extra set of hands to help, and she was waiting first in line. I love her, and could never ever pay her back for what she has done. I just hope her being proud of me is payment enough
Here are some photos from today. Some I posted online for all to see, some I didn’t. As the day wore on, and the make up came off, I was a little less confident. I wanted to take pictures as a family, but think I should have done it earlier. Oh well, this is me… now.. and it is what it is